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No matter how wild we make people think we are there is always a soft spot in us that makes the wild disappear. Waiting for the right moment it will make itself known and become our best companion. Feeding our bodies with addictions creates the wild within. As we refuse them the wild will slowly fade away. Will stay away as long as we want it to. Never stop looking for it. It is in all of us.

. O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains. That we should with happiness, pleasure, and satisfaction and applause transform ourselves into a wild person.

. William Shakespeare.

Ending all addictions will create a better person and start experiencing the better of your life. It’s there if you look close enough.

We need to look at ourselves and our lives more serious because the Booze is not fun anymore.

. see ya’ next time

Nightly drunken outings with misguided friends full of Booze and fast cars in a hurry to arrive at our failures. We are not dependable to keep ourselves safe. In our moments of drunken barroom conversations we brag of being mavericks and heroes on how we can handle our liquor. Many have done this and the real joke is some have tried to be both in one. Fantasy is amusing and taken serious being a fantasy writer. There is nothing real about the life of addictions users and drunken bums. What is real is our strange behavior annoying other people as well as the hungover Boozer. Stop being a phoney baloney and start improving yourself. Then we won’t have to hold up our heads and face the miserable life we earned. Solve your daily issues a better way than going to somewhere and guzzle down drinks. Boozers always make their problems worse than they really are.

. No happiness exists just grief on top of grief

. see ya’ next time

In the beginning we thought Booze was the biggest thrill but now it is gone. We will be convinced someday that addictions use is a waste of time. Have we learned our lesson? Leave it all behind you and go back to the Library, Restaurant, Sports with friends. Convinced that addictions never was a thrill at all. Then the thought of relapse will not excite you. The mixed odors of smoke and Booze that we carry around with us that we don’t notice or don’t care that it’s there. No concern for our personal appearance. Booze changes good thoughts into confusion so why mess up a good thing. Speaking and our choice of words will only turn us into babbling idiots. This is a perfect reason to stop addictions. No better time than the present.

. Is Booze still the ultimate thrill?

. Many tragic tales have been written but we don’t turn away from Booze. Taking risks and maybe a repeat of a bad scenario on a dark deserted backroad. All we had to do to avoid it was to take advice not to drink and drive. During the evening of Booze you can write about the best good time you ever had. After a bad accident happens you can write the most tragic story that ever happened to you. Can you live with it for the rest of your life? With Booze there never was a thrill.

. Drink at home and go places sober

. see ya’ next time

The day arrives the plans made and the show must go on. Entertaining the people the crowd is getting wild. The clown steps into the ring then another. A sudden chill comes over us as we notice the circus show is similar to the lifestyle we live. With every binge in the future this will be in our memory as well as our guilt. We stand alone in the darkness feeling small knowing the only way to forget this experience is to stop practicing it. We need to change our lives and do something worthwhile to ease our troubled minds. Then we can live in many peaceful moments. Don’t live a life that has no value and the emptiness we always carry with us. Stop creating more memories of binges of Booze. In the morning our money is gone and the only thing we purchased is many foolish pleasures and a morning of grief. Memories we are forced to observe for years to come.

. Retire the clown act and take the sober act on the road

. See ya’ next time

I considered choosing addictions to solve a conflict. I began to waltz to the edge of death and did a balancing act undecided which way to go. I have seen more than once how my friends have chose this method and all have ended up a failure. Solving my problems without Booze is the better choice. I didn’t want to join my friends as just one more failure to the list of many past present and future. I do the victory dance with a new life of respect. Now you can do the Dance of Love each time the bitter memory appears from the past. Every slow waltz that we do brings back the fear we had and how close to death we came to. It has been many years past and the feeling of victory has never left me. Looking back it was not hard to do. I turned away from a disaster and with some struggle to stay away from addictions I found a road to victory.

. Never give up the struggle and victory will always happen

. See ya’ next time

Addictions is a lousy way of life then we get tired of it and want something real to believe in. For now we are convinced that real doesn’t exist. We all stop pretending and start being ourselves. We find it impossible to do and the pretend world is what we are stuck with for awhile longer. Convinced that we will be chained to addictions taking up permanent residence in dark dungeons and seeing them in our sleep. When we get tired of the darkness we will walk up the winding stairway to the sun and promise to follow the sensible way of life. Memories of the dungeon will turn us away from the offers of booze. Stop marching with the parade of fools and mix with a better class of people.

Living sensible we will no longer have the time for the “Sources of disaster” that destroyed us.

see ya’ next time

Letting ourselves run wild with no restrictions or discipline. No one taught us how to keep ourselves under control. We denied the truth that alcohol was too much for us to live with. Hiding behind a phony and cheerful person and feeling low for doing it. Ending the addictions is the only cure and not have to lie to ourselves and others. Honesty and truth will improve our inner world and leave the disasters behind. Admit our failure and accept a way out and the booze related issues will fade away. Sitting in our lowest moment becoming worse as the booze continues. With our head low facing the ground with more misery than we can tolerate. Thinking we need a better life pleading and gently weeping for an end to this madness. We lift up our head slowly convinced our new life has finally begun. As the gentle weeping comes to an end and the cheerful life is on the way. “As I no longer need to gently weep.” The old saying is “It’s not a perfect world.”

The world of sobriety is as perfect as we create it.

see ya’ next time

The life of addictions has experienced a sudden death. Laid to rest with last rites and a final farewell reflection. No grieving will enter the scenario. Pleasure will always be among us at every graveside visit. Perhaps one memory will remain. Inspirational thoughts about the death of addictions will be with us as we travel on through life. Also in all our sober days to come. Words get in the way when spiritual reflection works better. Strolling down the cemetery road under a cold and windy overcast sky with the feeling of death beside us. The smell of dead worms and dried snails beneath our feet. The cold chill and the thought of death and the memory of the cause and the guilt of remorse. Having too much we may want to trade places with the name on the tombstone. Knowing that death is a place to hide. The dark tormenting feeling of addictions use will fade because there are no more reminders around us to keep the memory alive. Desperate for escape no time is wasted to plan a better life. Leave it all behind us at the cemetery before we make our exit. The choice is ours. The coffin is open waiting to lay our addictions life to rest. Watching the lid closing slowly the addictions life begins to fade to black. The key to lock the coffin is inserted and slowly turned for the last time. The addictions life will be dead and gone. Grief and remorse will die and happiness will be alive and well.

My epitaph will read:

“My addictions life is buried here in ruins as I enjoy my free and happy life”

see ya’ next time

Each time we get high on addictions the comfort will not arrive. The high itself is no comfort to many people myself included. Getting high from booze was not a problem back in the day. Thinking there is no better source. The ultimate life. Waking up from this life of strange images and found my natural high and never looked back. An evening of doses and distorted scenes. Where is the pleasure in that? For each one we consume gives our lives more problems than the one before. When the feeling comes over us how silly the life of booze is this will be our beginning of our life of sobriety. This is how it started with me and stayed sober for many years. A Natural High is a cheerful and joyous feeling happening naturally on it’s own. No one decides when it happens. Sensible thinking is refusing addictions and let our free spirited nature decide the activity that can only provide our Natural High. We have been told this by sober people and ignored it each time. Thinking we chose the best life. The days of pretending and lying to ourselves. Totally miserable on the inside and a pretend happiness on the outside. The nonsense we speak that only we will listen to. Standing alone in the darkness after all the people have walked away. Telling ourselves that we are strong enough that it will not bother us. One day the booze will dry up and all the people we knew will return. I lost interest in booze and became a follower of a Natural High. What do you wish to do command or obey? Sobriety or remorse? kill it off or keep it alive? Saying we would like to quit the booze means we are not enjoying it at all. In the same breath we say we like it we are making fools of ourselves. We thought we were stronger than Booze and we were wrong. We struggled with it and lost. Accept your loss and the lesson learned. No sense in a rematch. Unless it’s Basketball. After being sober for awhile you will see the good life you missed. Stay away from the phony bar scenes and the miserable person you are creating for yourself. Leave the addictions high behind you and take to the sky on a Natural High.

Natural High by Bloodstone. 1973

see ya’ next time

The cheers and the smiles from the night before will last until sunrise. Now the grief starts to irritate our conscience. Memories of guilt begins as we slowly try to remember fragments of our nightly binge. Worrying about what may have happened. What have I done? We never put this behind us just add more grief to what’s already there. Heard enough? Stories we try to remember and try to make amends the best we can. This only lasts until the next binge. How can this be corrected? To stop using addictions is the answer. The ill feeling and the excuses we make-up and no one believes. Every time this happens the less interested in us people become. Laugh it off but inside only the feeling of disappointment is there. There is no victory. We lost every battle we ever fought. Our own private conflicts that we bring home with us. Guilt is driving us to madness. How many years until we say enough is enough? The weekend is here as we plan for the next binge. Not quite over the guilt of last weeks binge then we go back for more. All through the binge we pretend not to care and brag that nothing bothers us. Feel like kings until we sober up. The life of booze is nothing more than a pretend world. Bar time is closed time to go home and sleep off your hangover. Welcome to a repeat performance. It’s here.

It’s Daylight Again

You heard enough but not lived it enough to quit?

see ya’ next time