Category: Uncategorized

Addictions is a lousy way of life then we get tired of it and want something real to believe in. For now we are convinced that real doesn’t exist. We all stop pretending and start being ourselves. We find it impossible to do and the pretend world is what we are stuck with for awhile longer. Convinced that we will be chained to addictions taking up permanent residence in dark dungeons and seeing them in our sleep. When we get tired of the darkness we will walk up the winding stairway to the sun and promise to follow the sensible way of life. Memories of the dungeon will turn us away from the offers of booze. Stop marching with the parade of fools and mix with a better class of people.

Living sensible we will no longer have the time for the “Sources of disaster” that destroyed us.

see ya’ next time

Letting ourselves run wild with no restrictions or discipline. No one taught us how to keep ourselves under control. We denied the truth that alcohol was too much for us to live with. Hiding behind a phony and cheerful person and feeling low for doing it. Ending the addictions is the only cure and not have to lie to ourselves and others. Honesty and truth will improve our inner world and leave the disasters behind. Admit our failure and accept a way out and the booze related issues will fade away. Sitting in our lowest moment becoming worse as the booze continues. With our head low facing the ground with more misery than we can tolerate. Thinking we need a better life pleading and gently weeping for an end to this madness. We lift up our head slowly convinced our new life has finally begun. As the gentle weeping comes to an end and the cheerful life is on the way. “As I no longer need to gently weep.” The old saying is “It’s not a perfect world.”

The world of sobriety is as perfect as we create it.

see ya’ next time

The life of addictions has experienced a sudden death. Laid to rest with last rites and a final farewell reflection. No grieving will enter the scenario. Pleasure will always be among us at every graveside visit. Perhaps one memory will remain. Inspirational thoughts about the death of addictions will be with us as we travel on through life. Also in all our sober days to come. Words get in the way when spiritual reflection works better. Strolling down the cemetery road under a cold and windy overcast sky with the feeling of death beside us. The smell of dead worms and dried snails beneath our feet. The cold chill and the thought of death and the memory of the cause and the guilt of remorse. Having too much we may want to trade places with the name on the tombstone. Knowing that death is a place to hide. The dark tormenting feeling of addictions use will fade because there are no more reminders around us to keep the memory alive. Desperate for escape no time is wasted to plan a better life. Leave it all behind us at the cemetery before we make our exit. The choice is ours. The coffin is open waiting to lay our addictions life to rest. Watching the lid closing slowly the addictions life begins to fade to black. The key to lock the coffin is inserted and slowly turned for the last time. The addictions life will be dead and gone. Grief and remorse will die and happiness will be alive and well.

My epitaph will read:

“My addictions life is buried here in ruins as I enjoy my free and happy life”

see ya’ next time

Each time we get high on addictions the comfort will not arrive. The high itself is no comfort to many people myself included. Getting high from booze was not a problem back in the day. Thinking there is no better source. The ultimate life. Waking up from this life of strange images and found my natural high and never looked back. An evening of doses and distorted scenes. Where is the pleasure in that? For each one we consume gives our lives more problems than the one before. When the feeling comes over us how silly the life of booze is this will be our beginning of our life of sobriety. This is how it started with me and stayed sober for many years. A Natural High is a cheerful and joyous feeling happening naturally on it’s own. No one decides when it happens. Sensible thinking is refusing addictions and let our free spirited nature decide the activity that can only provide our Natural High. We have been told this by sober people and ignored it each time. Thinking we chose the best life. The days of pretending and lying to ourselves. Totally miserable on the inside and a pretend happiness on the outside. The nonsense we speak that only we will listen to. Standing alone in the darkness after all the people have walked away. Telling ourselves that we are strong enough that it will not bother us. One day the booze will dry up and all the people we knew will return. I lost interest in booze and became a follower of a Natural High. What do you wish to do command or obey? Sobriety or remorse? kill it off or keep it alive? Saying we would like to quit the booze means we are not enjoying it at all. In the same breath we say we like it we are making fools of ourselves. We thought we were stronger than Booze and we were wrong. We struggled with it and lost. Accept your loss and the lesson learned. No sense in a rematch. Unless it’s Basketball. After being sober for awhile you will see the good life you missed. Stay away from the phony bar scenes and the miserable person you are creating for yourself. Leave the addictions high behind you and take to the sky on a Natural High.

Natural High by Bloodstone. 1973

see ya’ next time

The cheers and the smiles from the night before will last until sunrise. Now the grief starts to irritate our conscience. Memories of guilt begins as we slowly try to remember fragments of our nightly binge. Worrying about what may have happened. What have I done? We never put this behind us just add more grief to what’s already there. Heard enough? Stories we try to remember and try to make amends the best we can. This only lasts until the next binge. How can this be corrected? To stop using addictions is the answer. The ill feeling and the excuses we make-up and no one believes. Every time this happens the less interested in us people become. Laugh it off but inside only the feeling of disappointment is there. There is no victory. We lost every battle we ever fought. Our own private conflicts that we bring home with us. Guilt is driving us to madness. How many years until we say enough is enough? The weekend is here as we plan for the next binge. Not quite over the guilt of last weeks binge then we go back for more. All through the binge we pretend not to care and brag that nothing bothers us. Feel like kings until we sober up. The life of booze is nothing more than a pretend world. Bar time is closed time to go home and sleep off your hangover. Welcome to a repeat performance. It’s here.

It’s Daylight Again

You heard enough but not lived it enough to quit?

see ya’ next time

To believe that we can and must hide the parts of us that are broken. Out of fear that others are incapable of loving the parts of us that we cannot love ourselves. Is to believe that sunshine is incapable of entering a broken window and warming an empty room.

www.sandrakring.com

Our decisions can alter our lives just pursue an interest. You already know what to do. Many pursuits end in failure because we were never interested when we started them. Same with the jobs we accepted. In every short lived pursuit there is always lack of interest. We must live on our own because we are all we have. We all suffer a crash landing at least once or twice in our lives. We are not worthless the pursuit was. Aim your sights higher. Your calling may be in the distance. When the sun enters our broken lives we may see things about ourselves we never knew was there. The reason we never found it is because we searched a dark room. Ourselves. Our lack of confidence. Lack of education makes it difficult to get a job. I know. I struggled with this for years. Gets harder all the time. I didn’t become a writer overnight. Years of reading one book then another. Mistakes makes perfect. If we stay inside a dark room too long we may never come back out. I have written many pages that made no sense at all. No one would have the interest in reading them. Nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel and face life as it comes. That’s how I became a writer. I never gave up. Addictions will cause the worst of times. How much more can you carry? It’s not a matter of choice. Start again or you may never again.

“Mend your broken window and start again.”

see ya’ next time

Verities is the truth about ourselves and Balderdash we refuse to leave behind us. Balderdash is “A jumbled mix of liquors.” People who drank talked nonsense. This is the creation of Balderdash. When a person who has been drinking ever admit that they are not making sense at the moment. When would we have time to listen to ourselves. No clarity in what we hear or the spoken word. We tell the person beside us “You had too much to drink you are not making any sense.” Who are we to say being just as drunk as the rest of the crowd. Imitating each other speaking of others thoughts and not our own. After decades of being sober we think back at those times when we see a drinker with the same problem we once had. During your sobriety you will listen to every thought and word. Searching for the truth within now that the clutter is gone. Seeing the world through plastic wrap we see nothing clearly no matter how close we get to it. Our lives are not “Jumbled” anymore. To trade sobriety for relapse Balderdash is preferred. Drinkers are not thinkers I wasn’t and I’m not alone. A clear Mind, Thoughts, and Knowledge is where we discover our true value. Remember your strange behavior that came out when the booze went in? All sorts of nonsense all tied together was the result. Sounds like saying five words at the same time. What kind of a book comes out of a person who is Drunk, Groggy, or Sleeping it off? In sobriety is the only place where verities exist. Leave the Balderdash and the booze at the bar. I did. Now I am sitting here writing these posts. This requires thinking can’t do it with booze and bars.

If a man tried to take his time on earth and proved before he died what one man’s life could be worth. I wonder what would happen to this world.

Harold Forster Chapin

December 7, 1942- July 16, 1981 Age: 38

Who knows how far we can go?

So what is your choice in life a Verity or a Balderdash?

see ya’ next time

Our want for the life of Booze we accept our own invitation. The challenge between forces begins. “You accept my challenge and I’ll accept yours”. Against you and the Booze. Booze is clever enough to sneak up to us and ruin our lives little by little. To overcome us the whole time without our knowledge. Looking for it even after someone warns us. This is why alcohol is cunning. Smarter and making fools of us all. We are all blindsided. Came at us from a hidden place and unaware of what was waiting for us up ahead. Looking straight ahead and alcohol still fooled us. Who can predict what can possibly happen after entering the addictions lifestyle? Books can tell us but who reads them. Challenging alcohol to a duel and expecting to win is like betting on a boxing match with your own shadow. And betting on the shadow to win. A duel nobody wins. See the similarity after living the life of Booze? In the duel with Booze you both came out losers because Booze was already the loser before you began the duel. Now you are both equals but never in a good way of course. The duel starts with every drink we consume. Stop this foolish living by refusing the next duel which proves we have common sense after all. Quitting addictions is your victory and kill off your addictions lifestyle and send it into Rigor Mortis before alcohol sends you there. Booze will always stay where it is waiting for the next victim to arrive. Don’t let it be you.

see ya’ next time

Getting started in an organized life is never an easy ride. The first drunk was easy until the morning after. Discovered the first hardship among many more. Sobriety is much more rewarding. Serene and full of learning. With booze it wears off but not the lingering struggle to repair the damage done. Sobriety stays with us as a learning adventure. Times will get rough with every dose. We can never relax in a life of booze. The stress and the tension inside of us will not let us rest. When we take our first drink it’s just another nightmare story in the making. And all the one’s after. The profane bar scenes absorbs into the mind with returning visions of hardship. Returning to booze to try to comfort them for a few hours. Adding to the hardship from the previous drunk. Not worth the effort and expense of putting money in a life of booze. Searching for ways to remain sober for life is a soul searching that absorbs into the soul. Sobriety is a life to ease the troubled mind. This works constant and the rewards never ends. Instead of the constant return to booze constantly turn away to search for your soul within. If we look far enough inside of ourselves we may find a better person we would rather get to know better. This is where we discover how we can be our own best friend. Interesting to think that it takes fifty words to explain the life of booze. With sobriety it takes hundreds. Stay home and be a writer.

Leave the strange intentions and the booze behind.

see ya’ next time

Your first step of the long journey ahead is your first drink. The curiosity and the fear and the disasters of stories told. Waiting somewhere beyond the blue haze at every turn of the road. Feeling tired traveling we need a drink. As time goes on this was our first mistake. If only we could have made it our last. The real fear should have been many more mistakes to come. Too much confidence covered up our warning signs. Sitting in the darkness with the full moon shining upon us. Very little sleep with curious thoughts and worries of what will become of us. Stress will be too much to control. Stops along the road for a binge or two. What is at the end of the road? The start of a career? The stress will be there when you arrive. More booze to end the stress? We all know that many drinkers fail because of the booze. With their money gone and living with the poor. Many discomforts and hardships before this long stretch of road ends. Not knowing how to solve them many doses of booze will follow. If we would have looked around and seen the disasters Booze made of other people we may have refused to take our first drink. All of us drinkers think of these ideas too late. This is good advice before taking the first dose.

The good life is somewhere beyond. We just haven’t gone far enough to find it. Read up on Alcoholics Anonymous and forget the road trip.

see ya’ next time